By Beth Reis-Moo
Moo Media Manager
Have you spotted a spotted vehicle driven by a Wiener Moooving on down the road? If so, it is not a Mini Moo mirage. Talk shows and tabloids have been buzzing with rumors this a Wiener Mobile makeover in an attempt to replace the “Oscar Mayer Wiener Mobile’s” famous Pork advertising campaign with a healthier Beef theme following a recent negative pork report. Don’t be fooled by these rumors.
Sporting designer Moo-Moo attire, Miss Kris and the Lovely Mr. Sanders (clothing compliments of the Farm Store) are motoring across the country herding herds of Mini Moo’s. They are delivering the Mini Moos to the ever increasing population of cattle crazed “Mini Moo Maniacs” in an attempt to boost their “Save the Cows” campaign.
The “Mini Moo Mobile” is chauffeured by a crew of highly skilled Wieners (none have any connections to Oscar Mayer). The couple, known as Mr. and Mrs. Moo began their pilgrimage after Mrs. Moo kicked the ”Bucket List” off her iPhone “Things” app (found on iTunes for a mere $9.99).
The “Mini Moo Mobile” has been spotted all over the country. Similar to the “Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile”, the “Mini Moo Mobile” is now being tracked on a special web site “I Saw the Mini Moo Mobile Being Driven by a Wiener.com”. It has become quite a phenomenon.
The Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile was recently retired due to a decline in popularity following a report indicating a large number of consumers are suffering side effects from ingesting the pork products. These side effects range from excessive weight gain, a rosacea pink tone to their skin, and last but not least, the desire to squeal and wallow in the mud. Cincinnati, Ohio has been hit in plague proportions earning the nickname of “Porkopolis”. In the Nasty ‘Nati, many have also experienced a strong urge to “Fly”, often competing with fellow Porkers long distances at high speeds.
Many Oscar Mayer consumers have been quoted as saying they wished they had listened to the pleas of their Jewish friends to ban the forbidden “other white meat”.
Oprah and Dr. Phil have signed on as spokespersons. The organization is also in the process of signing on the curley headed child star that became famous for singing the Oscar Mayer jingle in commercials years ago.