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We have bought two mini-cows from Kris and Jim. Billy, our first guy, is pure joy!! He is so friendly, sweet, and was so easy to halter train. He is my best guy, I look forward to coming home from work and going to the barn for a visit. We got little miss Amelia on Dec.20th 2010. She is something else, little diva of our barn. Her and Bily are the best of friends. I just want to say buying from the Sanders was the best choice. Tim and I have healthy, fun, adorable, happy mini-cows. they are worth every penny. Hopefully in a couple of years we will have our first baby cow to sell. One thing is for sure, the baby will be wonderful!
Kris and I are sad to let all of those familiar with Locust Knoll Farm that our beloved Brown Swiss steer Franke passed away on May 22nd. My wife Kris brought Franke home in the back of her Volvo when he was just 3 days old and weighed only 80 pounds. She bottle fed Franke as a calf and watched in amazement as he grew to eventually 2800 pounds!
Everyone that ever came to the farm remembers Franke. Despite his enormous size, he was as gentle an animal as could be. Children could hand feed Franke his favorite treats without fear. It wasn’t uncommon for him to come up and lay his big head on your shoulder. He had an enormous appetite and only refused to eat when he came down with pneumonia a few winters ago. He bounced back to good health to roam our pastures and delight those he came in contact with.
I can remember years ago when I was new to the farm I heard Franke fart, It was not an ordinary breaking of wind because it went on for a good 40 continuous seconds… no kidding! Another episode I remember with Franke was when I got a call while I was checking out at Kroger. Kris received a visit by the sheriff who informed her that Franke and our miniature cows were in a field on Judd Road about a block and a half away. How do you get a 2800 pound steer and six miniature cows to come back home? Very carefully! There I was, feed bucket in hand, leading Franke and his partners in crime down Judd Road to our street Apple Road. What a sight! Traffic stopped, neighbors lined up on their porches, as Franke and his buddies made their way home.
Whenever people came to our farm to visit our miniature cows they all were fascinated with Franke. You simple could not get over his huge size and his loving nature. Franke will be sadly missed by all that knew him. Kris put it best when she said “Franke was the farm”.
Today Franke roams the green pastures of heaven grazing to his heart’s content, and if I know Franke passing a little gas along the way.
Our spring calves Valerie and Brandi are enjoying their days in the Wiener yard usually reserved for our 6 daschunds.
We bottle feed them and provide them with hay, water, grain, and grass to graze on.
This doesn’t go over too well with our one wiener Maxine.
She barks and chases them around for a while and encorages them to poop in someone else’s yard.
This doesn’t sit well with our head bull and minitiature cow union Steward Smitty. He’s filed a grievance for harrasment against Maxine and wants a separate facility for the calves.
Meanwhile the bulls are getting frisky with the heifers. Smitty wants a Christmas calf so he’ll have another write off with the IRS for 2009.
Our other bull Abe has been locking horns with Smitty over the beautiful Thelma. Abe says when Thelma is in heat he feels tingly all over. Who could blame him?
By Beth Reis-Moo
Moo Media Manager
Have you spotted a spotted vehicle driven by a Wiener Moooving on down the road? If so, it is not a Mini Moo mirage. Talk shows and tabloids have been buzzing with rumors this a Wiener Mobile makeover in an attempt to replace the “Oscar Mayer Wiener Mobile’s” famous Pork advertising campaign with a healthier Beef theme following a recent negative pork report. Don’t be fooled by these rumors.
Sporting designer Moo-Moo attire, Miss Kris and the Lovely Mr. Sanders (clothing compliments of the Farm Store) are motoring across the country herding herds of Mini Moo’s. They are delivering the Mini Moos to the ever increasing population of cattle crazed “Mini Moo Maniacs” in an attempt to boost their “Save the Cows” campaign.
The “Mini Moo Mobile” is chauffeured by a crew of highly skilled Wieners (none have any connections to Oscar Mayer). The couple, known as Mr. and Mrs. Moo began their pilgrimage after Mrs. Moo kicked the ”Bucket List” off her iPhone “Things” app (found on iTunes for a mere $9.99).
The “Mini Moo Mobile” has been spotted all over the country. Similar to the “Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile”, the “Mini Moo Mobile” is now being tracked on a special web site “I Saw the Mini Moo Mobile Being Driven by a Wiener.com”. It has become quite a phenomenon.
The Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile was recently retired due to a decline in popularity following a report indicating a large number of consumers are suffering side effects from ingesting the pork products. These side effects range from excessive weight gain, a rosacea pink tone to their skin, and last but not least, the desire to squeal and wallow in the mud. Cincinnati, Ohio has been hit in plague proportions earning the nickname of “Porkopolis”. In the Nasty ‘Nati, many have also experienced a strong urge to “Fly”, often competing with fellow Porkers long distances at high speeds.
Many Oscar Mayer consumers have been quoted as saying they wished they had listened to the pleas of their Jewish friends to ban the forbidden “other white meat”.
Oprah and Dr. Phil have signed on as spokespersons. The organization is also in the process of signing on the curley headed child star that became famous for singing the Oscar Mayer jingle in commercials years ago.
Just to let you know that our first baby mini calf was born this morning – in the mud! We brought her into the house and gave her a bath and then took her back out to her mother. Ida is her mother and is nursing the baby so we are hoping that all is okay in the barn now safe. The vet will be here soon to check her. She weighs about 20 lbs.
We have exciting news from Locust Knoll Farm. Our miniature heifers are pregnant! Ida, Thelma, Claire, and Lulu’s blood tests revealed the girls are moms-to-be. We had been wondering about the recent requests for pickles and ice cream, and now we know why. No sooner than the tests came back, Smitty, our lead boy claimed fatherhood, despite the fact he had competition from fellow bull, Abe.
Smitty wasted no time ordering a box of Cuban cigars ( part of the reason Fidel Castro resigned). We’re expecting the little ones in spring 2008. Lulu has been painting her stall pink in anticipation of a girl. Thelma is bigger than a bus and thinks she’ll have a boy. Ida said” I don’t care if is a boy or a girl, just so I it doesn’t look like that asshole Smitty.” And Claire wants a boy so he can grow up to be a cow astronaut.
The miniature cows weigh around 17 pounds at birth. They’re pregnant for 9 months (sound familiar?) We’ll blog out the birth announcements as they come.
I have been asked by my wife Kris to write a blog for our Little Moo website.
By way of introduction I am Jim Sanders, Kris’ husband and ½ owner of the miniature cows.
We wanted to tell you a little bit about the cows and their surroundings. We have four heifers and two bulls. Smitty is our head bull and also serves as the Union representative for himself as well as the other cows. (The cows are members of Local 710 of the Amalgamated Miniature Cow Union.)
Abe is the other bull, who according to the heifers is more debonair than Smitty, but not as well endowed.
Claire is the lead heifer and bosses the herd around similar to the way Kris herds me.
Claire is the largest of the heifers in weight, but you shouldn’t tell her that to her face.
Thelma is the second largest of the ladies and is so ugly she has been asked to haunt houses for Halloween.
Lulu is a brindle colored heifer who is drop dead gorgeous, all you need to do is ask her and she’ll tell you that herself.
Last, but not least is Ida. She most closely represents the University of Texas mascot.
Ida is the most shy of the herd and like me, is Jewish.
Kris, I and the minis live on a 14 acre farm in southeastern Ohio. In addition to the 6 miniatures, we have 2 dairy cows, 3 barn cats, 12 ducks, 17 dogs, 3 goats, 2 horses, 2 doves, 7 finches, 1 canary, and 1 parrot. The total population is 58 including humans.
We hope to have calves born in 2008. Hopefully we’ll sell them so I can recoup some of the money my wife forced me to invest in this hair-brained scheme of hers.
That is it for now, other than to tell you Smitty has filed a grievance against me for not allowing the cows equal space on this blog.